PA Branding Part 4.2 – Confidence is the result of your self-management
If you disagree with this statement, chances are you are not a very confident person. If you do agree with it, you probably know that from experience, you walked the path and you know the power of fearless and consistent execution. And if you are pleasantly surprised and eager to know the HOW… than you wonder why they didn’t teach us that in school. Good point!
First of all, please realize that self-confidence is all about ACCEPTING yourself. Accepting the fact that most things are learnable and, if you are willing, you can be a master of any chosen area of your focus. It’s also about NOT blaming yourself for being uneducated, ignorant, less than perfect … It’s about accepting that learning itself is a ‘life skill’ and you are the eternal student of the Life University.
Now, let’s get down to business. I have gathered 4 main pillars of self-education on your path to ironclad self-confidence.
Strong self-confidence is a straightforward result of your self-management. Most of the time we just go with the flow of life, trying to manage the time we think we have and trying to make the most of it. Especially, while being a 24/7 assistant to a busy executive, we really don’t have any brain capacity left for even considering an option to take on the bigger matters into our own hands. Our task lists are growing by the second and we need every bit of the precious 24 hours to fix, calm, manage, resolve, organize, create or get things done… and all that just before lunch time.
So I get it, it’s a lot of work! And no, I don’t say you should stop everything you’re doing to focus on personal development.
What I do say, is that having strong self-confidence will make a lot of things easier and smoother. So here are few more things that you can do to start this process of self-mastery.
That is the most powerful phrase in human language. It’s the very expression and confirmation of us being here. It’s the declaration of YOU being appreciated for who you are… no matter your state, shape or form. And Yes, I hear you saying that you might not be in a desired fashion right now – but that doesn’t matter a bit. YOU ARE! That is the most important thing you need to be aware of and be grateful for. You are here, you have the power of choice, no matter the situation you are in. Simple truths…
But here is the catch – we are usually way too hard on ourselves. And it shows by how we finish that sentence. It’s the words we say AFTER ‘I am’ that make up the quality of your life. And it most definitely impacts the quality and strength of your self-confidence. Any positive affirmations and expressions will build up your personality… slowly but steadily. Any negative condemnation will bring you and your life down in record time.
And here is an even more tricky part… the ratio found and confirmed by many researches regarding the psychological impact of self-talk on your state of mind is 1/5. Meaning that negative expressions are 5 times stronger than positive affirmations. Ouch!
The preferred manner of your actions is obvious. So remember: be 5 times as nice and empowering to yourself in order to build a fertile ground for healthy and thriving self-confidence.
To state it crystal clear: How you finish that evolutionary sentence will determine your faith!
So watch your self-talk. Don’t let the crazy voice ruin your chances of a great life. It’s all in your own hands… or better yet, it’s in your head! Be very aware: either negative or unsupportive inner dialogue will destroy your chances of having a strong self-confidence.
There are two effective ways to stop negative self-talk:
Thought replacement method. You cannot physically think two things at the same time. That means you force yourself to think something positive while catching yourself on negative self-talk. Not easy, but doable.
Engage in self-care. It simply means you (egoistically) spend time on yourself. Doing something you like and need. In some ways it’s a variation on thought replacement. Your mind cannot think you are not worthy of being a great person while spending time and effort on yourself. You might even end up liking spending time, money and effort on yourself too. And it greatly empowers the impact of my slogan: Relax to excelerate!
POWER POSING & COPYCAT METHOD
I know it sounds too simple and silly, but it has been proven again and again to work like magic on your mood, your mindset, your physical abilities and your mindset. Just watch the TED talk of Amy Cuddy and give it a try: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ks-_Mh1QhMc
I love her twist on the famous saying: Fake it till you make it. Based on her own inspiring experience she turns it into: Fake it until you become it!
So, who are your confidence role models?
THE DEVIL IS IN THE DETAILS
Every Assistant knows this to be very true. Even the smallest of details can ruin a perfect presentation, mess up a carefully planned itinerary, turn a beautifully organized event into a disaster or undo a perfectly thought-through plan of action…
And the same goes for your self-confidence. The smallest of failures that you have experienced in the PAST might have a huge impact on your overall self-confidence TODAY. Even if the unfortunate occurrence has nothing to do with organizing international board meetings, you can become extremely uncertain of your capacities after forgetting to fill in one blank while applying for a personal loan years ago. That disastrous feeling of ending up being rejected by the bank can have a big influence on you today, making you double check every detail for at least 27 times.
So take a moment and sum up all the failures you had ever had. It’s against everything that affirmation gurus will tell you to do, but it’s the only way of cleaning up the mess that is in the way of your shiny self-confidence.
I once heard a saying: If you want to clean up dirt, you need to see it first and then get your hands dirty. It’s so simple and so logical… So don’t be afraid to dig through your past dirt if you are up for spring cleaning your habits…
Once you have the list, consciously and calmly determine for yourself that the outcomes happened there ONLY apply to those events… in the past. Certain past circumstances created the sum of those failures and they DO NOT affect your overall performance levels today. Yes, you’ve learned the lesson, but don’t let those past situations crap all over your future.
Even more so, realize you’ve become BIGGER by having to deal with those failures and that you are wiser now. You are a different person now! THAT will breed self-confidence like crazy. Loyalty to yourself and pride of ownership of your experiences will make you glow from inside out. It’s a combination of self-mastery and self-talk which will directly result in a grounded and powerful self-confidence.
Here is your jumping board towards an IRONCLAD self-confidence:
Know it’s a learnable skill.
That means you can own it if you put your mind to it.
Know it’s about what you say to yourself about yourself.
That means you have control over it.
Know that you can start building it anytime & anywhere.
That means you just have to do it, it’s an ACTION oriented skill!
Know that your past has a huge impact on your current and future confidence.
That means you need to know what impacted you until now and disregard it from now on.
To repeat my last post… lose the battle of blaming yourself for ANYTHING. Lose the battle and accept yourself as YOU ARE! You cannot be someone else… and you are Personally Awesome right now! You have the power and control over your actions and your thoughts. Make your life and love your life. Be kind and generous to yourself. Be proud of yourself!
Want some more inspiration of how to lose that inner battle? Read this post and just do it: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/its-time-give-up-nisandeh-neta
Next on the Confidence Menu: The reason why being an Assistant or supporting others is THE perfect way to be truly happy and fulfilled! Against all odds and backed up by science – you will love it!
And check out our W.A.N.T.E.D. events and JOIN us LIVE or ONLINE
on December 12th 2015 at for the ‘Ultimate Distress Jam Session’
in our efforts to elevate and thrive our ASSISTANT ‘STATE OF MIND’
This is the ultimate, practical and possibly life-changing experience.
eXplore. eXperience. eXpress.
Let’s celebrate your Personal Awesomeness!