PA Branding Part 4.1 – Massive self-confidence is your key to power Personal Branding
Delivering practical tactics on something so untouchable as Personal Branding has turned out to be harder than I thought. The reason is that branding is mostly perceived and judged by others (the social mirror) – which makes the issue obvious: we can’t control others! We can influence others by connecting to their values and their needs, but the end results of their decisions is out of our hands. Their experiences, expectations, strong beliefs or even their self-judgment… they all matter.
And so, I was in a bit of a pickle trying to launch the next part of our branding journey: the execution of your Personal Awesomeness Branding. It kept bugging me for weeks… I wanted to state hands-on practicalities, move on to measuring the results and then engage in fine course corrections. But – nothing really worthy came to mind. I even Googled the subject, read a book and a few articles on the topic.
Some do proclaim that there are certain techniques you can use, others give all the power to personal charisma and window-dressing of your appearance. But nothing of it all resonated with me. Nothing seemed genuine. All of it seemed manipulated and unreal. And there it was: being REAL!
So it’s has to be something that screams: I’m real and I’m worthy of…. (fill in anything you want your brand to be)!
OK, the next question: How do you express and translate ‘I am real and worthy’ (…without using too much L’Oreal)?
And, as by magic, with a bit of help from my RAS brain, I found the enlightening answer: SELF-CONFIDENCE!
Confidence is presumed to be a noble quality. And it is, but it’s not about the quality in itself – it’s about the subject in represents. And the subject of confidence doesn’t need to be noble at all. In fact, no matter WHAT you are confident about – it’s bound to become hypnotic and magnetic to people submerged in it. All your actions that are fueled by ironclad confidence will be effective. The easiest example is the leadership of gangs and cults. Their unreasonably massive confidence makes people submit to anything they want (with a hunch of fear, but even that is derived from the confidence that leaders will deliver on their word). Now, the subject might not be honorable – but their execution is godly flawless! And something that is powerful is always bound to be misused. That is how you know something is valuable.
Of course there are countless ‘good’ examples. The only thing is, when the cause is good – we assume people will follow anyway. But if the cause is questionable – it’s up the leaders to ‘brand’ that cause in a way that you leaves you with no choice but to follow! That proves the gigantic power and effectiveness of stealth confidence.
How do you get the unshakable confidence to make your brand a non-negotiable and first-class deliverable of things you stand for?
Now that’s a subject you can find tons of info and tips about. I selected a few incredibly profound tactics that did resonate with me. You can easily incorporate them and benefit from the swift results and forthcoming fortune as per your desire. It will take me few posts to tell you all about them, so stick with me.
Introducing: ‘Boost your confidence to the magnitude of self-fulfilling prophecy’ series
This week, let’s start with the inner battle that prevents you from even thinking that confidence is a primal human trait.
Here’s the deal: we humans have one undisputable quality that is ‘always right’ and persistent. It’s called: I’m always right! You have to look at it from a psychological perspective. See, it’s psychologically IMPOSSIBLE for us to believe the fact that our intentions are NOT congruent with our thoughts or actions. Our mind cannot be wrong about things we’re experiencing. In other words, everything you adapt by your thinking is seen as the ‘undisputable truth’.
An example. You might think: I’m getting fat, it must be in my genes. Then, even if that’s not true, your body has no other option but to submit to those words by obeying the ‘crazy’ reasoning. If said often enough – and with definite conviction – you will indeed get fatter. It’s a process confirmed by multiple studies. On a mental level it looks like this: if you think ‘I hate this job‘ for some time – you WILL end up hating it. Our being just CANNOT be wrong about things we hold in our minds. It’s a natural congruency.
DO YOU GET THE POWER OF YOUR MIND AND THOUGHTS?!
This stuff is scary and makes you rethink every syllable of your thinking process. During the last Global PA Academy event, Graham Price taught us the most amazing thing that you can do when you want to have ANY impact on your life: You need to think about your thinking! In this context of ‘our mind is always right’ it makes perfect sense.
And so, everything you think – your body and actions simply need to comply with and obey to any equivalent by default, to prove you’re right. In the esoteric terms: It is what it is! And if I say it is, then it is!
Now, of course, we humans are way too complicated to go along with the predefined mainstream so we adopted an ability to label something the way we want it to be, no matter the actual state of it. And the annoying part of that trait is that it has a strong urge to defend its statement.
To use the same example of the thoughts/beliefs around being fat, your conscious mind says: ‘HELL no girl! Your genes are fine. You know what, let’s prove it. Eat this donut now, work out later and nothing will change.‘ And so you do. And so the battle begins…
For us Assistants, the most obvious battle s the fact that we don’t feel appreciated and it goes like this:
The unconscious belief: I am not getting the appreciation and recognition I deserve!
And so, the reality catches up with us (or something that originated from one single event), because that statement ‘must’ be true.
Our conscious reaction: But I AM good, damn, I’m the best PA this exec will ever have.
The congruent action: I need to prove to him that I’m the best there is. I will work harder and be more productive, and so he will have no choice but to praise me and my efforts.
Result: We work our asses off, we lose track of time, family, sleep, love life and our personal goals because we are on a mission. The battle is on, baby!
But the original statement is still ‘I am not getting the recognition’ and it will just be there and proven again and again until you resign, retire or give up. And even if we’ll get the so much needed ‘Thank You’ it will never measure up to our efforts. Doesn’t he understand what I had to go through to get this done?!
See the dilemma we’re in?! The vicious circles?! And if you dissemble it like this – it’s pure INSANITY ! And THAT insight is the most powerful game changer known to man. Because again, we cannot be insane! No healthy psyche will agree with us being insane! That is the turning point and that is where I want to guide you: gently, lovingly and with amazingly transformative results…
The reasoning behind this process is, of course, way more complicated, but you get the point. There are unconscious beliefs that dictate your present state of life. And then there are conscious battling thoughts that want to prove the status quo wrong or fearlessly defend it. That is a huge internal battle that prevents you from having the life you really want, undermining your confidence in the process.
There are countless situations this applies to. And not all of them are per definition bad. We live and are this way for a reason. BUT – you can break free from this ‘nonsense’ battle if you want different results. You do that by surrendering, giving up the battle. And the cool thing is – the magic happens by taking conscious actions!
See, the automatic human response to the status quo is DEFENSE (proving it right or proving it wrong ). If you want to create a different outcome , you need to lose the defense and just ACCEPT it. Whatever it is… it IS true, no matter what your logic says.It became true in the process of automated compliance to our thoughts and beliefs. Once you decide to change you can ACT consciously in the favor of your newly chosen direction. Empower yourself by affirmations and your psyche will adopt THAT as its new truth without a fight – why? Because everything your think and say MUST BE TRUE by default!
Apologies for making it so in-depth theoretical, but when you understand how it works you will get the effectiveness of our human nature. I do believe that we are creators of our own life. Yes, a lot of events are uncontrollable, predestined and factual. But we have the immense power: the liberty of CHOICE! That is what make us unique to anything on this planet. You have the capacity to be, live and proclaim anything you stand for. That is the true monumental and evolutionary confidence that we all have. That is the purest form of self-mastery! And I do believe that our prerogative in life is to learn how to master ourselves. That is so cool! Just think about possibilities if you will act with that ironclad confidence….
Now, back to our Personal branding. Let’s start creating some strong basics of our self-fulfilling confidence.
Step 1: Accept the possibility that you have ‘hidden’ battles within you that prevent you from having the results you want. Your current judging system is very strong right now, so you need to start this process gently. Start by accepting that there might be something that is different to what you always thought to be true.
Step 2: Monitor your thoughts. If there is an obvious defense battle going on – take notice and preferably make a list. It’s when you try to uplift your spirits about something discomforting (like: BUT this job has so many benefits and I do like the short commute and I do get a bonus each year). Notice times when you say BUT and then try to reinforce something. It’s a sign of an inner battle. And everything that starts with ‘I can prove that…’ goes directly on that ‘battle’ list too. Why? Because if you are truly confident you have nothing to prove! You are absolutely sure of the validity of your confidence subject.
Step 3: Define major areas of your life that you are not happy with, even without a hidden battle – you just hate it or want it to be different. All that goes on that list. Although, we usually do find other factors to blame for it… ignore that, you know better!
It might take a while for you to get comfortable gathering stuff that is NOT RIGHT. It’s psychologically not in our nature to admit that WE caused this unwanted truth to be true. So the most important step now is to ACCEPT and APPROVE of our behavior until now.
‘It’s OK that it is the way it is. I was driving blindfolded (yes, it is a form of self-righteousness). I just never really thought about it that much. There is NO POINT in blaming myself for something that is the way it is. My desire to change is all that matters!’
Repeat this statement over and over during this first step towards your IRONCLAD self-confidence. It breeds self-love and self-respect, which are essential for your success and Personal Branding. Be nice to yourself!
You cannot be anyone else yesterday – but you can be someone better tomorrow!
You need to feel that calm and reassuring sense of self-definition, in every shape and in every stage of your life. Be amazingly confident about your power of choice, in every shape and in every stage of your life.
This is a beautiful beginning! Lose the battle, gain the spark of unconditional self-confidence. Your choice is whether you do it sooner or later…
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ASSISTANT ‘STATE OF MIND’
This is the ultimate, practical and possibly life-changing experience.
eXplore. eXperience. eXpress.
Let’s celebrate your Personal Awesomeness!